Do bloggers even do this? -not even going to open pandora’s box on that one. I have been unsettled on this topic for a while, even after I originally wrote this back in July. Funny enough, the first time I wrote it, I didn’t even think I was going to. Even before I started to blog, writing has always helped to “clear my head,” but I felt I was holding back a little. So let’s try this again.
Friendship. Is it valuable? Do we need it? Or can we get by with day-to-day encounters of people, some more consistent, some not as much? Never in 25 years did I think I would get to a point where I thought I would ever question that.
But then again, this year, things I used to advocate for I’m more on the fence about now. Maybe it’s Coronavirus, or I am getting older, but there is nothing worse than when you can’t find a stance on something.
Growing up, I felt so strongly about friendshipβsuch loyalty to those I chose to hold that title. The way I always approached it was until they did me seriously wrong; I was going to be there for them. Now, don’t get me wrong. There are so many different kinds of friends. For this blog post, anytime I say friend, let’s narrow it down to those top people. Picture a close friend, someone when asked to list important people you couldn’t leave out in your life.
I remember someone in grade school suggesting that you refer to others as acquaintances if you aren’t too close to them. And while socially correct, I am sure my 12-year-old self found it rude and a little unnecessary. It’s just a word, I thought. Why make someone feel bad (the empathetic side showing once again) by saying something that no one uses enough?
And as I grew up and moved on in life, different friends moved on in theirs. But to me, as long as nothing terrible had happened, I would be okay with it. Whether it was because of moving, different schools, or even friends for summer camp, it made sense to me why people came and went in life.
I think we have all been thereβthose times where it didn’t make sense why someone suddenly wasn’t there anymore. Close friends walking out can hurt just as much as a significant other sometimes. Maybe even more. And if you haven’t been there, consider yourself lucky. And text those close people right now, tell them to thank you for sticking around.
What do you do when you put time, effort, and energy into something to find out that you would be left behind? It’s that feeling of having the rug pulled under you, and you didn’t necessarily see it coming. That you put so much more value into this to realize that ” you don’t matter to them for not even at least a fraction of what you thought you did.” I think I am supposed to tell you it will be okay and that you have to appreciate it for what it was.
But that is extremely hard. And we are human, after all. What is supposed to wash away all the insecurity that comes up? Betrayal, lies, etc. We can picture all that more from someone we don’t like rather than a friend. That’s a deeper kind of “cut” to get over. And what would make you want to turn around and just let more people in then in the future if that happens? I want to believe everything happens for a reason, but right now, I don’t know if this year in general quite makes sense.
Something that gave me a moment of peace is even the greatest of friends fight and disappoint you, so if you want to forgive and try again, that option is there too. And it is no one’s business if you choose that road either. Just make sure you are both willing to make that decision. Because like I wrote before, it shouldn’t be one-sided, and if it starts to be, address it before; it’s too late.
